Survey! [17 Dec 2009|01:09am] iluvthursday [ music | donnie wahlberg - I GOT IT ] WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING? One Hundred Years of Solitude WHAT TIME IS IT NOW? 12:39 am WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? lol, medieval times... FAVOURITE BOARD GAME? I like playing scrabble with my mom. I like scategories with a group of people! And I love the N*sync backstage pass game just for kicks with Durfe. FAVOURITE MAGAZINE? Vogue BABIES? I want them someday :) FAVOURITE SMELL? I love the smell of breakfast. Like pancakes and waffles, mhm! WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD? waking up naked next to someone after a drunken night and not knowing what happened.. FIRST THING YOU THINK OF IN THE MORNING? "Ugh, why'd I have that dream!?" HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE? A few...If I like the ringtone, I like to listen to it all first haha FUTURE CHILD'S NAME? I enjoy renaissance and egyptian names, or names of Artist's I like, but I have no specifics yet. FAVOURITE COLOUR? I love the color green...but only if it's that perfect 'shade' of green. I'm real picky with green. Black will always be classy though. WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT IN YOUR LIFE? currently, taking care of myself and being healthy. FAVOURITE FOOD! I love food. Who doesn't? I'm a big italian food fan. I love spaghetti and sauce, chicken parm, pizza...I also love falafel and hummus, so delicious! And I love greek wraps with feta, so nom! Favorite salad dressing is definitely Balsamic without a doubt! IF YOU COULD PLAY AN INSTRUMENT, WHAT WOULD IT BE? The piano. Everything about them is beautiful. DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE FAST? I do have a lead foot, but I am careful with it, and in the winter I drive slower and very careful. SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL? No, my baby blankets :) WHAT TYPE WAS YOUR FIRST CAR? LOL, a 1993 black ford escort hatchback. RIP<3 WHO IS THE PERSON FROM YOUR PAST YOU WISH YOU COULD GO BACK AND TALK TO? My cousin Chrissy, it would have been nice to be a lot closer with her,:( FAVOURITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK? I enjoy peach schnapps hands down. WHAT'S IN THE BOOT OF YOUR CAR? I still have a box of supplies and stuff from my art show in there. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI? yes i do. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED WHAT WOULD IT BE? a make up artist for models on the run way or for broadway musicals! That'd be so much fun! EVER BEEN IN LOVE? Hmm...I have confused 1st boyfriend for love. I have confused losing my virginity for love. I have confused someone buying me everything I wanted for love. And most recently, I have confused obsession for love. So, i'd say no...I have quite a bit more to learn about life anyways. GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL? it's half. FAVOURITE MOVIE? I'm hoping to catch up on a bunch of films during this winter break...but I guess for now I'd say Never Been Kissed since I neever ever get sick of it. Luckily this didn't say *film* because I'd say something totally different. DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS? when my hands are resting and I'm looking at the screen WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED? lol I literally just checked...I have a treasure chest with my coin collection in it.. WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST AMBITION? to be a nomadic artist!!! WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST WEAKNESS? blood, literally. I get so weak when it's brought up in biology. I literally feel all of my limbs get loose and strange. One time when I looked up my blood disorder, I passed out from reading about blood. IF YOU COULD BUILD A HOUSE ANYWHERE WHERE WOULD IT BE? Somewhere in Europe, no exact location yet. WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE ARTICLE OF CLOTHING? a classic dress with tights BEACH, MOUNTAINS OR CITY? city TECHNOLOGY OR ART? Art. I'm kinda bad with technology at times. COMEDY OR HORROR? Comedy FAVOURITE PHYSICAL FEATURE OF THE OPPOSITE SEX? I enjoy legs a lot. And I love facial/body hair. I think it gives character. It's so manly, that I can't resist haha FAVOURITE TIME OF DAY? when nothing has happened yet, right in the beginning. You don't know what's going to happen! THE LAST CD YOU BOUGHT? Flight of the Conchords: I told you I was freaky WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE PLACE TO BE MASSAGED? my head, hair, and neck. WHAT'S MOST IMPORTANT, STRONG IN MIND OR STRONG IN BODY? mind. WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING? I usually wake up to an alarm for class or work...it's always different. Usually early in the morning. If I had to choose, I'd wake up at like 9 or 9:30 daily though. WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE KITCHEN ITEM? Spatula! WHAT MAKES YOU REALLY ANGRY? rude customers in my store while I'm working WHICH DO YOU PREFER, SPORTS CAR OR SUV? sports car. I don't like SUV's...I don't think they're that cool. They're like bigger or whatever...big deal. DO YOU BELIEVE IN AFTERLIFE? Yes. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SEASON? Autumn! The weather is at a perfect level...breezy yet sunny. The leaves are in beautiful colours, and there is so much more fashion opportunity to the wardrobe :) IF YOU COULD HAVE ONE SUPER POWER, WHAT WOULD IT BE? to hold my breath underwater, and walk underwater. Like iron boots in Zelda...or wearing that metal suit in Super Mario 64...LOL ugh did I really just do that? DO YOU HAVE A TATTOO, WHAT IS IT? No I do not...I really plan on getting a beautiful little line of sea turtles on my foot someday after experiencing a conservationist service. I also want a line of music notes on my left collar bone! CAN YOU JUGGLE? no...I'm not a clown. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE DAY? Tuesdays, I enjoy them. WHICH DO YOU PREFER SUSHI OR HAMBURGER? Sometimes I feel like people only eat sushi to feel like they're cool or something...I don't get it really. It freaks me out. I love burgers...throw some cheese on it though! WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE SOAP? I like dove bar soap. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE MEAL? Give me lots of dessert! Yum IF YOU COULD TAKE A VACATION ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD WHERE WOULD IT BE? The tropical rainforests at the equator. I definitely would LOVE to see the rainforest someday...there are so many plants and animals in there that haven't even been discovered yet! I'd love to see real exotic tropical life in action. I'd love to see those trees with the vines that kill other trees by suffocating them to death...Ugh, I bet it's amazing! cmt

crummy. [16 Dec 2009|04:50pm] iluvthursday Ugh, I went to my top 5 favorite antique shops in Buffalo today, and none of them had anything wonderful to buy for christmas gifts. That's extremely dissappointing. Usually I find the BEST things for people. But whatever. Hmm...now what to do... HAHA I have so much free time, it's crazy! My room is spotless :) !! read 1 cmt

XMAS + Xkidd = No correlation! [16 Dec 2009|01:30pm] iluvthursday [ music | Burl Ives - We are Santa's Elves ] Also, on a last second note. I've been extremely low on cash these days. So I was all like 'Blah I'll cancel christmas and not get gifts for anyone' but like, that's lame and totally out of the christmas spirit. I feel like having fun this year, since last year was not so fun. Yeah, I was dating the scrooge and the grinch all rolled into one. My next pay period was supposed to be Friday, December 25th... So I think I'm getting it the 23rd! And if I do, thennnnnnnn that's perfect! Otherwise, oh no, I have to be lame... Even though I know what I'm doing for everyone anyways. But um yeah, right now my focus is finding a pendant for the necklace I want to make Kyle. I really want to do something nice for him, like I really value him as a best friend. He's so nice to me. He pays for things for me whenever we hang out and it makes me feel bad. I think it'd be nice to surprise him with something he'd really like. LOL, I still have 2 pumpkins on my computer desk :) cmt

why should I worry? [16 Dec 2009|01:23pm] iluvthursday Really? What has this come too? I've been listening to Pocahontas, The Lion King, and The Little Mermaid songs all morning. I think I had a little too much fun downloading last night... Oh shit, that 'Oliver and Company' song just came on! Ha, I never even knew Billy Joel did the vocals for that... Okay, I need to go donate a bunch of bags of stuff to the Salvo. cmt

[15 Dec 2009|12:04pm] loveis_sparkly Sebastian and I are going to remain friends for the time being. He got out of a year and a half long relationship during the summer and he needs time to figure himself out. I'm going to be whatever he needs me to be right now and that is a best friend. I love him so much and I know he's worth my time so I can wait. He recognizes that he went about things the wrong way and he got upset that I was hurt. I forgive him. And since I've forgiven him, I don't want anyone else to be mad that he hurt me either. It's not a moot point. I'm happy :) cmt

[15 Dec 2009|11:49am] loveis_sparkly Day Nine- A Photo you took And THAT is why I love him. I hope no one expected anything artistically genius from me. For some reason people assume I know how to use a camera just because I know how to use a charcoal pencil. The two don't equate. read 1 cmt

[15 Dec 2009|02:04am] iluvthursday Kyle and I played with his furby tonight. We even went on the furby website and looked up how to work it. It spazzed out at one moment and it was creepiest thing of my life. But we got it to dance for us, and then we put it to sleep. Now I want to raid EBAY and buy a furby because I got rid of all of mine a long time ago. It sucks because a lot of my favorite things were given away with the many moves I've made over the past few years. I'm kinda wondering when the next move is...however, I feel like the next move my parents make, I'll probably just move out. I'm hoping to live downtown next year with a few friends anyways. I always wanted to live a year in the city of Buffalo before I moved away. I'm crossing my fingers for Chicago, but I may actually do my grad schooling in Europe. Who knows. We shall see what happens. I'm kinda in this crazy art mode again where I just want to be a nomadic artist. Art therapy is my back up for the moment. I wonder how long I'll survive. I guess it's a risk I want to take. I can't do the 9 to 5 the rest of my life. Or the live with the parents forever. Or stay in one place forever. Or own an expensive car. Or even buy a house. It's not what I want. And I know that. I enjoy change; I enjoy new things. Apartments + cities + subway systems + travling + artwork = GOOD. Then in the midst of all of that, let's throw in my prince charming, a baby tortoise, and some offspring when I'm 30. DEAL. cmt

night. [15 Dec 2009|01:54am] iluvthursday I never won a ribbon in those tonawanda school district art shows. Not in my elementary, middle, or high school years. But I'm glad that I never got one. At the time, I obviously didn't deserve it. And I'm okay with that. I feel happy and content with artwork at the moment... I'm in the process of building an x-ray camera... However, it's kinda illegal and kinda cancerous. So, we'll see if it makes or breaks me. I kinda don't care. I think everyone knows by now I do artwork for the shock value anyways. I mean who else would do photos where they dress themselves up as a pierrot/harlequin in sadomasochist situations to dpict emotional humiliation? Or who would make 6 foot tall structures that resemble a woman's vagina? Yeah, I said it. VAGINA. I'm happy that art will let me create things that people don't want to talk about. But I do. It's important. Tonight was good. I spent the whole night with Kyle. He makes me happy. I feel happy today. I'm ready to move on and let go of dumb shit in my life. I want to radiate energy like how I used to. I want to be the 'life of the party.' I'm sick of being shy or too scared or not trying hard enough. There is only one life to live. I plan on living it the best way I can. *PS Platos Closet gave me like $46 for stuff I didn't want anymore! I got an awesome pair of shoes, purse, and then $21 to spare. YES! cmt

today. [14 Dec 2009|12:51pm] iluvthursday Last night was pretty bad. I felt like I was legitly having a heart attack. I came home from work and had no plans or anything to do...it was a Sunday night though...I guess with classes ended and there's no stress over homework or artwork anymore, I feel like there's nothing hectic happening and I'm not used to that pulsating and annoying feeling not being there anymore. I decided to take a bath. I'm sure everyone knows what a bath reminds me of. It reminds me of how I lived with my grandma for about 9 months and how I had to 'bathe' everyday instead of shower. And there was one bathroom, and it was a huge hassle and very hard with going to college and driving and blah blah blah. And I had that boyfriend who had this theory about baths and how they're unsatitary or whatever. Well, that justified my thoughts about Christopher. And pretty soon I felt like I was bathing in my own tears over Chris still. Which is so fucked up. It's been 5 months. And here I am completely devastated about the whole situation. I broke up with him because I knew I had to, especially for my own health. I was neglecting myself and started to actually hate myself for it, and honestly I'm still in a severe condition of not loving myself. Because of him. So like the broken hearted crazy person that I am, I just cried and went through an entire box of kleenex until Lauren came to the rescue. She picked me up and we went for a little joy ride. We ended up at Dennys and just talked things over. This due, Ryan, wouldn't leave us alone and actually left his number for us...I tried to get rid of him by showing him disgusting photos in a 'clinical photography' book where the photos are of people with all these skin lesions and diseases...SO GROSS. He tried to tell me I had a book of child pornography? But like, lol, it's a clinical photography book where doctors take photos of skin diseases for medical records...and I got it at UB and wrote a fucking paper on it. LOL I hate how stupid people are, I really don't understand. The cook ended up coming out and talking to us about the dude that was talking to us...it was a crazy night. We tried driving by the 'chistmas land house' but they shut all of their christmas spirit off since it was past 2 am...what the fuck? Who does that? Oh well. Lauren made my night a whole lot better. I woke up this morning absolutely refreshed...No bad dreams at all. I was up and ready and left by 9:30 to go clean up the lab. I left the last of Chris' dumb shit in his cubby and just played my music as I scrubbed the counters in room 156. I gave Eric one of those 'once in a lifetime' hugs before I left...I'm really not sure why. I feel like he doesn't get hugged very often, nor do I, and it just felt like the right thing to do. Next semester I will be doing the lab 7 pm to 10:30 pm on Monday nights, and 3:30 to 7 pm on Tuesday nights. I'm happy I couldnt switch it up a bit. All I know is that I want to remain strangers with Christopher. I want nothing to do with him. All I thought about last night was the time when he didn't invite me to the beach with his friends and when I asked he said his other friend initiated it. Later that night, the friend who initiated it said they couldn't go now, but everyone else was still going. He did not ask me to join...awkward. The next day, like an asshole I stayed home and prepared a picnic for him when he came over after the beach. We went on this picnic excursion and then I put aloe on his sunburn and rubbed his back. When I asked him tp rub mine, he said "no." Ha, I chose really amazing assholes to date. Good job Nicole. Meh, he aslways did stuff like that to me, the entire duration we dated. I can't even get over how I let him treat me with such disrespect. I think I was focused on doing nice things for him, and that made me happy. But he was terrible to me and actually doesn't even understand how a relationship works...like, I think he paid for a coffee for me at Tim Hortons ONCE. WOWWWWWW Anyways, I have a world civ exam at 3:30. So I'm going to study, and then when Kyle gets out of work we're hanging out. I hope we watch some awesome movie and eat kettle korn. Last time I went to his house, we channel surfed and (didn't watch porn), and I brought him sierra mist from my house because he was craving some soda...awkward. I'm just really happy we have gotten close again, we've always had a good friendship bond. read 3 cmt

[13 Dec 2009|08:57pm] loveis_sparkly Day Seven- A photo that makes you angry/sad Because: I waited a million years to see my favorite band (AFI...) at Warped Tour. It was a freak accident that the drummer, Adam Carson was by the merch stand. Karl and I were so nervous to talk to him. But Karl had never used a camera phone apparently and the picture turned out super blurry. Plus, when I uploaded it, this weird grey bar showed up. It makes me angry because this was suuuuchh an awesome photo opportunity, but it got ruined. Oh well. read 2 cmt

[12 Dec 2009|07:34pm] loveis_sparkly Day Seven- A photo that makes you happy Because: I love BADZ! This was such a fun day! We went over to his house for our AP art party. It was a fabulous year. He made us chicken and we saw the rotting naked bust of his wife. WE MET GADZ and he wore the "+1 shirt" shirt. RIP AP Art class '05-'06. cmt

[10 Dec 2009|01:01pm] loveis_sparkly Shoot I forgot day five!!!! Day Five- Favorite Quote I have so many favorite quotes but they're all by Tupac...of course. "Everybody's at war with different things. I'm at war with my own heart sometimes." "God let me live for me to do something extremely extraordinary" "To all the seeds that follow me, protect your essence, born with less but you still precious" "You know it's funny when it rains it pours, they got money for wars, but can't feed the poor." "But please don't cry, dry your eyes, never let up Forgive but don't forget, girl keep your head up And when he tells you you ain't nuttin don't believe him And if he can't learn to love you you should leave him" "My mission is to be more than just a rap musician. The elevation of today's generation if I can make 'em listen." Download "Changes," "Unconditional Love," "Dear Mama," "Thugz Mansion," and "Keep Ya Head Up" for some more awesome quotes. Because... Talking about social injustice is where it's at. That's my passion. Loving and believing in people who are hard to understand. Making sure all people are respected and accepted. Protecting God's people. Tupac is so misunderstood because of his portrayal in the media. He was real and truthful and he spoke about where he came from and how the world needs to change. LOVEHIM. cmt

[10 Dec 2009|12:00pm] loveis_sparkly Day Six- Biggest Pet Peeve I can't stand it when people wake me up when I'm sleeping. My mother is the worst perpetrator of this. Every morning, her alarm goes off at 4:30 a.m. She turns on the computer, lets the stupid dogs out, and takes a shower. Then she makes a pot of coffee, watches a bunch of internet videos on full blast, and blow dries her hair. Also, it's rare when she doesn't wake me up to ask me if she can borrow money or where I put the eyeliner. During the summer she thinks it's acceptable to call before 9am to see if the mail came in. Close Seconds: Being cold Having to endure constantly having dogs hair on me. When people don't RSVP to my parties. cmt

best [08 Dec 2009|05:33pm] pink_and_fuzzy [ mood | chipper ] "I look over and you're just dancing with your sub. What's your trick? What makes you so happy all of the time?" "I just really love Jesus." "Hey! So do I. I'm going to think about that from now on." Well done good and faithful servant. cmt

[07 Dec 2009|05:55pm] loveis_sparkly Day Four- Favorite Book Oh boy I can't even pick one! I love the whole Harry Potter series. I haven't been super stoked about a book in a very long long long time. I like parts of literature mostly. Ol Willy S. of course and all the Brits. The Perks of Being a Wallflower was a good one. What a lame day. And I'm an English major...... cmt

Evolution of the Hipster. [07 Dec 2009|12:03am] iluvthursday www.facebook.com/l.php cmt

[07 Dec 2009|12:00am] iluvthursday I cannot wait for this week to be over with! Please come fast. Sunday: Write Bio lab report. Monday: Film and edit video. Documentation/self-eval/artist statement for Sylvie. Tuesday: Present film to art therapy class. Study for Biology exam #3. Wednesday: Biology Exam. Write 10 page research paper for photo history. Artist statement for art therapy. Thursday: world civ online tests. Friday: LAST DAY OF CLASSES. world civ online tests. Saturday: world civ online tests. Sunday: Study for World Civ final. Monday, the 14th: World Civ Final. Monday, the 21st: Biology Final. UGH, GROSS. Whatever, it'll be over soon :) Worst semester ever x 10. Need winter break asap. cmt

[06 Dec 2009|04:12pm] loveis_sparkly Day Three- Favorite T.V. Show The Sopranos Because... It's really difficult for the movie/t.v. industry to portray human emotions and actions accurately and The Sopranos does it so on point. The director does a superb job making the viewer feel sympathy for a murdering jerk. In this clip, Tony is whacking a guy for talking dirty to his daughter, Meadow. It's so darkly beautiful. The thing that Tony is best at, killing, is also the only way he knows how to react to that situation. He's taking a man's life out of love for her because that's the most and the best he can offer. Fatherly love mixed with immorality. I wish he was my dad. Close Seconds... Sex and the City Rome The Office read 1 cmt

[06 Dec 2009|02:08pm] loveis_sparkly MMM so some stuff went down. Sebastian and I hung out the other night. We walked around, talked a lot, cuddled and kissed. I was feeling pretty good. Yesterday was the dance and I took Dan as my date since Sebastian wouldn't go after that creepy girl asked him. A picture of our matching tattoos. Dan was under the impression I was going to sit around with him all night since he doesn't dance? Uhh no. Also, I told him I was seeing someone and I thought he had a girlfriend but he doesn't so I think he got upset and left. So0o0o I had no way to get home. My friend Ashley and her two friends drove me home. They are my faaavorite freshwomen. I was texting Sebastian on the way home and all of a sudden I got one of those "If I tell you something do you promise not to be mad or upset?" texts. Immediately I started crying. This seriously ALWAYS happens to me where things seem to be looking up with a guy and then POOF! it goes wrong. He said, "I'm not looking to rush into anything right now" and we went back and forth trying to take the blame for things going too fast. I said that I was being too intense, which I was. He said he shouldn't have kissed me and came on too fast. He was worried I thought he was a jerk. He wanted to tell me NOW rather than later. I was bawling my eyes out because I took it the wrong way. I thought it was like, "Oh I asked you to dinner, bought you coffee, told you you're beautiful, kissed you for two weeks....but today NOPE. I don't ever want to date you." "Carmen you are worth my time. I don't fancy myself as a special cool person. You make me feel really good about myself more than the ppl I've known for a year" He said he wants to be "intimate friends to begin with." I'm soo relieved! I should have thought about this before. My longest relationship has only been about a month because I always run into things. I make hasty decisions before I make smart ones. I'm really glad that he thought about this first and we didn't immediately start something. I could definitely see him in my life and I don't want to ruin it by being normally impulsive Carmen. This is going to be good. I'm really happy. :) read 1 cmt

[04 Dec 2009|04:26pm] loveis_sparkly Day Two- Favorite Movie Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind Because... I love the love story. I love Kate Winslet. This is when I first realized Jim Carrey actually had talent. Amazing music. I cry everytime during the scene when they say goodbye. "So what if you stayed?" Everything is beautiful. Close Seconds... Atonement It's a Wonderful Life read 2 cmt

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